


i felt you in my life before i even thought to

by yeehawpaulson



Category: Ocean's 8 (2018)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Smut, Songfic, angst with a resolution (i think), but it was accidental, english is a lie, i pretended tammy didn't have kids sorry, i probably spelled centre/center both ways but i cba to fix it, that or just ignored their existence idk, this got more angsty than i wanted, whoever keeps saying that debbie's a bottom stop rn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:13:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29309370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeehawpaulson/pseuds/yeehawpaulson
Summary: there's angst (far more than expected) and then they have seggs idk what else to say
Relationships: Debbie Ocean/Tammy
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	i felt you in my life before i even thought to

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sadbutchhours](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadbutchhours/gifts).



> ily sadbutchhours
> 
> also this is a songfic (accidental) so listen to Nineteen by Tegan and Sara (or the Hayley Williams cover!)
> 
> shameless playlist plug! [my debtam playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3TFliN0Vq9iDVqUEIchnQ6?si=POzHekhPR6ujDlSVX2MBfw)

Tammy’s body was flush against Debbie’s, one hand on her waist and the other in her hair. A denim covered knee pressed in between Tammy’s legs, pushing her into the closed front door of Lou’s loft. She leaned in, hot breath tickling along the length of the blonde’s neck, and mouthed at her jaw and chest as she pushed the jacket off of Tammy’s shoulders. Tammy cradled her head, fingers lacing through her hair, relishing in the tender sensation of her lips on her skin. Debbie hadn’t kissed Tammy since college, but she’d thought about it constantly. After she and Tammy parted ways, she hadn’t met anyone comparable. She missed the feeling of her lips, their bodies pressed close, their souls intertwining in the intimate way that only theirs could. They were inevitable - more of a when than an if - and both women knew it was only a matter of time before they came crashing back together. The heist was a catalyst for their reunion, a reminder of their unfinished business. Tammy hadn’t stopped thinking about Debbie since, as if being close to her again was the missing piece to her life. Tammy filed for divorce days after she returned home in a flurry of emotion and realization. 

Today the divorce was finalized. Today Tammy was moving into the loft with Debbie. Today she finally allowed herself to be with Debbie - she wouldn’t have been able to stand the guilt she knew she would feel if she’d cheated on her ex-husband - and the divorce happened so quickly (by some sort of miracle) that she hadn’t seen Debbie since she walked out of the loft after the Met. 

Tammy’s hand tightened in Debbie’s hair, who moaned softly in response. She mouthed up Tammy’s neck again and nipped at her ear. Tammy turned her head, catching Debbie’s lips with her own. Tammy moaned into the kiss, mouth slacking open, welcoming Debbie’s tongue as it licked into her mouth. 

“Is Lou home?” Tammy whispered, pulling back. Debbie shook her head and dipped back down, tugging at the neckline of the blonde’s shirt, and trailed hot kisses across her chest. As an uncomfortable heat settled itself deep in her stomach, Tammy arched her back into Debbie’s touch. Tammy’s hand moved from Debbie’s hair and flicked a thumb over the brunette’s nipple. Suddenly, Debbie’s heart dropped. 

“Shit, Tam, are you sure you wanna do this right now?” Debbie said in between heaving breaths. “You just left your husband and-” Tammy cut her off with a kiss, arms wrapping around Debbie’s shoulders as she leaned into her body. Debbie kissed her back, hesitantly this time. Debbie’s thoughts raced, What the fuck are you doing, Ocean? She just got divorced for shit’s sake, don’t be stupid, and she felt herself get lost in her own brain. 

Tammy pushed herself off the wall,

“Wow, you’re no fun, Deb,” she pouted and nipped at Debbie’s ear, “whatever happened to college Debbie?” she inquired, feigning innocence. They both knew the implication of her statement, and Debbie found herself flustered at the idea of Tammy wanting that again. Does she really trust me after all this time? Debbie thought. The blonde slipped from Debbie’s arms, oblivious to the storm occupying the brunette’s mind, and sauntered towards the stairs. 

The brunette snapped from her daze and swatted at Tammy’s ass. Tammy laughed and motioned for Debbie to follow her upstairs. Debbie obeyed silently, letting Tammy grab her wrist and practically drag her into their (their!) room. Debbie pulled Tammy into her again, laying her down on the bed and straddling her. They kissed like that for a while, but it was different this time; tender and soft, ever so gently as if one of them was made of glass. She hadn’t forgotten what it felt like to kiss Tammy, but she had forgotten how it felt to have her. Tammy gave herself up so easily, she trusted Debbie fully and freely, and this scared Debbie more than she could have possibly imagined. She was used to it, used to the easy flow of certitude between them. In fact, their unique dynamic was the only constant in Debbie’s life. It broke her when Tammy told her to lose her number, leaving her without her best friend for the five years she was in prison. Debbie refused Tammy’s apologies, though, because she felt at fault for the unfortunate events of their past. She ended things between them after college. She moved on even though she knew Tammy wouldn’t be able to. Debbie watched complacently as Tammy got married to someone who didn’t deserve her. Debbie went to prison. Tammy was always left hurting. A tear slid silently down Debbie’s cheek, falling onto Tammy’s neck. 

Tammy startled and pulled away,

“Debbie? Baby, what’s wrong?” she whispered, concern washing over her face. She held Debbie’s face in her hands, thumbs wiping away the steady stream of tears that fell. Debbie couldn’t find it in herself to stop them. Tammy sat herself up, moving against the pillows, and pulled Debbie into her. The brunette’s thoughts rattled inside her head, exacerbating the damage she’d already done to herself, There you go, you fucking idiot, hurting her again. Is that the only thing you can do successfully? Tammy just murmured quiet “I love you’s” into Debbie’s hair and kissed her forehead while she held her. They sat like this as the sun set outside their window, the early evening light painting the room orange. 

“Debbie, honey, can you talk to me?” Tammy asked, voice small and unsure. Fuck, Debbie thought, turning away and out of Debbie’s arms, you’re scaring her away. “Hey, hey, it’s okay, c’mere,” Tammy said, shifting closer to her. She wrapped her arms around her waist and murmured into her ear in an attempt to coax Debbie’s problems out of her. 

“Shit, Tam, I just love you so much,” Debbie sobbed, “I just can’t fucking hurt you again,” she finished quietly. She shrunk in on herself, wishing she could go back to college and restart. Go back and fix her mistakes.

“Hurt me? Deb, you’re the best thing in my life,” 

“No, I mean… Fuck… I mean before. I’ve been so terrible to you in the past and I won’t be able to live with myself if I fuck this up again,” Tammy just nodded, unsure of how to mitigate the situation. The raw pain in Debbie’s voice broke her heart. 

“I love you, Deb, I never stopped loving you. I want you here, and I know you didn’t hurt me on purpose,” Debbie looked into Tammy’s eyes, searching for any hesitancy, but all she saw was adoration. 

“Dammit, Tam, I want, I need, you too, I just can’t let you trust me. I can’t let myself hurt you again,” Debbie had stopped crying, but her eyes disclosed a deep pain that Tammy had never seen in her before. So many words went unsaid, but Tammy heard all of them, all of the please don’t hate me’s, the excess I love you’s, but most importantly the after all this time, I still love you, and it scares me that you still trust me. Tammy reached for the brunette’s face, resting her hand on her cheek, and kissed her, a wordless I forgive you, a silent promise that she understood what being together entailed and that she needed her desperately anyway.

Debbie must have heard Tammy’s unspoken plea, because she abruptly felt as though all of her walls had been broken down, like she’d finally let her guard down. She kissed Tammy back fervently and shuffled their bodies around to resume their earlier position. She peered down at Tammy, whose halo of blonde hair was illuminated by the beams of warm light streaming into the room, and was completely overtaken with love for her. She continued kissing Tammy and moved down her body with roaming hands, core suddenly on fire with desire. Lips never parting from the brunette’s, Tammy started tugging at Debbie’s shirt. 

“Tam are you sure?” Debbie asked, reason breaking the haze of her arousal. Tammy mouthed at her jaw and whispered her confirmation as she helped pull Debbie’s shirt from her slim frame. Debbie mirrored Tammy’s motions carefully, pausing after each movement to wait for approval. 

“Debbie, you have me. Please don’t be afraid,” Tammy said, pulling back. Debbie’s heart swelled at the gentle look in her eyes, feeling the trust radiating from her lover. That was all Debbie needed, and both women began to move with a new hunger, tearing clothes off each other, fighting the pressure building between each of their legs. 

Debbie’s eyes drifted across Tammy’s naked body, taking in as much of the familiar sight as she could. She was breathless and overwhelmed with arousal, but she suppressed her neediness for a moment to appreciate the woman beneath her. Tammy squirmed under her gaze and surged up to mouth at Debbie’s neck. The brunette pushed her back into the comforter,

“What would you like, Tammy?” the blonde’s eyes widened at the request. She found it hard to think through the haze of her desire. 

“Deb, just touch me,” she replied. Debbie sighed and rolled one of Tammy’s nipples in between her thumb and forefinger, then took the other in her mouth. She arched into the sensation and moaned. Debbie pulled back and smirked,

“Sensitive, are we?” she drawled. She sucked on the skin between her shoulder and neck, slid her hand down the blonde’s stomach slowly, feeling each muscle contract against the contact. Tammy whimpered at the languid movements, her body winding tighter with each passing second. Debbie’s fingertips met slick heat and she groaned, smoothed her tongue over the fresh purple bruise on Tammy’s shoulder, and pulled away. Her mouth went dry as she spread Tammy’s thighs and her eyes met her glistening center. The blonde gasped as Debbie blew gently across her, as she kissed the insides of her thighs, moving closer and closer to where she needed her most with each touch. 

“Debbie, if you don’t fucking touch me right now, I swear I’ll-” Tammy began, but was cut off by her own gutteral moan when Debbie dipped her tongue into her wetness, gathering it and dragging it up to her clit. Tammy’s hips bucked as the brunette’s tongue swirled, a hand flying to cover the traitorous noises falling from her lips. Abandoning her post between Tammy’s legs, Debbie grabbed her wrist and pulled it away from her mouth,

“I wanna hear you,” she said, voice gravelly. Tammy nodded slowly and laced her fingers into her lover’s chestnut hair. Debbie hummed, then abruptly sucked on Tammy’s clit, the slightest hint of teeth scraping over the bundle of nerves, and the blonde cried out. Debbie coaxes her legs over her shoulders and pressed her hands into Tammy’s hip bones to settle the incessant rolling of her hips. A high pitched moan spilled from Tammy’s mouth as Debbie entered her with her tongue, pressing as deep as she could inside. 

“Jesus, fuck, Deb,” she sobbed, heels pressing into her back. Debbie slowly raised herself from between her legs, again, and moved up Tammy’s flushed body. 

“Now, Tammy, we shouldn’t blaspheme,” she rasped, then kissed the blonde, tongue licking into her mouth. Tammy moaned as she tasted herself off of Debbie’s lips. Her hips rolled, seeking friction as Debbie began to pull back. She snaked a hand down Tammy’s body, poised at her entrance, and looked into her eyes. 

“Debbie, please, don’t tease me,” she whimpered. Debbie complied, and slid one finger inside of her, reveling in Tammy’s breathy sigh as she clenched around her curling finger. She withdrew completely and filled Tammy with two fingers, kissing her deeply, thumb occasionally flicking over her clit. Tammy moaned into Debbie’s mouth, struggling to kiss her back through the waves of pleasure coursing through her body. Debbie’s fingers thrust into her cunt agonizingly slowly, moving smoothly through Tammy’s arousal. Her thumb began rubbing the sensitive bundle of nerves at a steady, slow, maddening pace, each stroke wringing a sob from Tammy’s throat. 

Tammy, unable to kiss Debbie back any longer, slumped back into the pillows. Debbie leaned over her, fingers still pumping, and murmured praise into her ear. Tammy clenched impossibly harder around her fingers.

“Deb, please, please, please, just tell me, I’m right there,” she sputtered, body rocking through the burning crests of pleasure radiating from her center. Debbie quickened her pace, moving with more insistence, and whispered into her ear,

“Come for me, Tammy,” then latched her mouth over her pulse point. Tammy stilled, then, letting out a hoarse sob, shook violently under Debbie’s expert touch. Debbie fucked her through the waves of her orgasm, slowly bringing her down, but then quickly moved and took her clit into her mouth again. Sucking and licking, she drew another orgasm from Tammy’s responsive body. Tammy shook again, shocked at the second rush of devastating pleasure, as she came on an intensely prolonged sigh. Debbie coaxed her back down, slowing her movements, then withdrawing completely. She brought her fingers to her lips and made eye contact with Tammy as she licked them clean. Tammy gaped at the brunette, she hadn’t seen anything so fucking hot since college, since the last time she’d watched Debbie suck her taste off her fingers.

Tammy surged forward and attached her lips to Debbie’s, tugging on Debbie’s waist to pull her up her body. Debbie resisted for a moment, tried to deepen the kiss instead, but Tammy was insistent. Debbie straddled Tammy’s waist, expecting to feel Tammy’s hand at her center any second. Instead, the blonde shifted, hands still anchored on Debbie’s waist and tugged again. Debbie looked at her quizzically, but complied with the blonde’s silent requests as she moved further up her body. 

“Tammy, what the fuck? Use your words,” Debbie said, laughing as Tammy’s hands ran down her thighs. 

“Sit on my face, Debs,” she replied with a smirk, the edge in her voice making Debbie’s cunt throb. She stilled for a moment to gather herself, overwhelmed by the swell of her arousal at Tammy’s words. Tammy giggled and gently coaxed Debbie into motion with soft hands pulling on her hips. The brunette regained her composure, much to her own amazement, and crawled up Tammy’s body. Tammy waited for Debbie to gain purchase on the headboard and not a second longer before bringing her mouth to Debbie’s clit. The brunette’s arms buckled, hips bucking slightly at the sudden contact. Tammy’s hands steadied on the tops of Debbie’s thighs, holding her still as she ran her tongue through her folds. The blonde groaned at the taste, one she’d never truly forgotten and was sure she never would. 

“Tammy, please don’t tease,” Debbie pleaded, bringing one hand to stroke Tammy’s hair. Tammy hummed, finding Debbie’s hypocrisy amusing, considering the brunette’s request. “Tam, I sw-” Debbie began impatiently, cut off by her own throaty moan as Tammy licked into her cunt. Tammy’s chin and mouth were soon covered in Debbie’s slick as she worked eagerly to draw more needy sounds from the brunette’s throat, her tongue swirling around her clit, pressing inside her, somehow simultaneously everywhere Debbie needed her at once and nowhere at all. 

If the whimpers slipping from the brunette’s swollen lips were any indication, she was close. Tammy knew this of course, but she wanted Debbie to beg for it. She continued working around her clit, continued licking into her cunt, but never hit exactly where Debbie needed her. Debbie grinded her hips lightly, trying to hint to the blonde to move quicker, give her more, but Tammy ignored her. The brunette let out an exasperated sigh, hips bucking, heat spreading through every inch of her body. Her voice cracked around a whimper as she clenched around nothing, Tammy’s tongue dancing away as soon as it gave her any relief. 

“Tammy,” Debbie groaned. Tammy just hummed, looking up to meet the brunette’s dark eyes. “Tam… Baby, please,” she continued, knuckles going white as her arms buckled again. 

“What is it, honey?” Tammy rasped. The sound went through Debbie like electricity. Her eyes squeezed shut, chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. “Come on, Debbie, use your words,” Tammy drawled. 

“Fuck,” 

“Yes?”

“Tammy, would you please fuck me?” She caught Tammy’s gaze, saw a smile hint at the corners of her eyes. Tammy opened her mouth to speak again, only to be cut off by a whimpered, desperate “For real?” as Debbie’s last bit of patience disappeared, completely overtaken by the constant thrum of her arousal. Tammy happily obliged and latched onto her clit, tongue flicking across the sensitive bud. Debbie grinded down and whimpered. Her skin was on fire and she could feel herself dripping onto Tammy’s chin - it was so obscenely vulgar that Debbie thought she would feel disgusted if it wasn’t so damn erotic. Tammy slipped a hand around and abruptly filled Debbie with two fingers as she continued sucking on her clit. Debbie’s hips stuttered and she cried out, head falling against her hands. Tammy continued at a criminally slow pace, relishing in the feeling of Debbie clenching around her fingers with each thrust. Debbie sobbed, legs locking, as an incoherent string of syllables tumbled from her lips. Tammy quickened her pace, and soon Debbie was coming, body rigid and taut. Tammy felt wet heat run down her wrist as Debbie’s walls fluttered around her fingers. A guttural moan ripped from her chest as she started to shake, legs dangerously close to giving out. 

Tammy coaxed Debbie down from her high and laid her down beside her. She slid her arms around her flushed body, feeling her heartbeat in every inch of her skin. Debbie chuckled and leaned in to place a gentle kiss on Tammy’s lips. 

“If you didn’t believe me before, do you believe me now?” Tammy asked quietly. Debbie chuckled,

“What? Believe that you love me?” 

“Well, yeah,” 

“Baby, I know you’ve been in love with me since we were nineteen, I never doubted you for a second.”

**Author's Note:**

> this had less angst when i started but... here we are
> 
> come hang out w me on twitter @/yeehawpaulson


End file.
